Thursday, July 2, 2015

Journal Me This

My latest Bi Polar induced obsession has been making journals...  Just today with in 3 hours I made three of them...  And I want to make every kind!!  I also have been going pin crazy about different journals I can keep!  I came across this blog and this chic just gets me!  All these ideas of different journals you can keep!!!  I decided I am going to keep all different kinds of journals, we will see how it works out lol...   So here are some pics of the journals I have been making!!





When I said I have been obsessing over making journals I did not lie...  The one i like the most is the yellow one up there... that is actually made from a 1969 Readers Digest!  I just love those covers dont you!!  I bought about 8 of them so that I can make them all into journals...






So another thing I have been doing is crafting using the pages from the books I am getting these covers from.  I just can not bear to think that I am ruining books... it hurts to much... so instead of just ruining them... i am making them into art!  Something that can make their many years of being unread worth something!!!   Here are a couple of the pages!!!



 Are these flowers I made super cute!!!!  I found some amazing posts about how to make them!!! Here are the roses!!! Arent they soo cute!!!!   

And here are the ones up top there!! And there are actually 20 different paper flowers just in this blog post!!!  

The are so great!!! And i definitely enjoyed making them!! I cant wait to figure out what to do with them all lol



Over here on the right you will see that I drew a picture!!!  If you open it all the way you will see that I circled words in it that went to the picture!!!  YAY!!!  Got this idea from my daughter's school actually!  In first grade she did something like this on a page from a college text book.  It was awesome!  Here it is!!! In my pinterest board!!! 

And over on the left here you will see a Christmas tree I am making!!  Its going to be adorable when I finish it!!!  I am thinking of some sort of green spray paint... we will see how it turns out!!!















So that is the art I am working on...  Other than that my life has been overwhelming ... I try to do all of these projects to keep my mind off of it...  here are a couple others that took up my time..


 Made a coat hooky thingy for my son's room since my daughter has one in her room, he really wanted one to... he loves it!!!
Made a lamp out of an old clarinet that would never work again..  I love it as a lamp!! And I did all of the electrical work myself!!!






















And here are pics of all my kids lol... My two people kids and my three fur kids lol...  (dont mind the messy house... i had my nephew at one point during that day and he loves to give wanna a run for her money lol)












Well I think this will be the last pictures of this post lol...  What do you think???

Alannah

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Welcome to my Opinion...

It is hard to explain who I am with out people becoming upset... Most of the time they are upset because  either 1. they don't understand or 2. they have opinions that don't match mine and they don't like that.  I like to just let people believe what they want.  As long as they do not come around me disrespecting me then i really don't care about their beliefs ... I mean yes... sometimes it is fun to talk about how you are different from each other.  But people should understand that everyone is different and will have their own views on things.




A good example of this comes with the whole being gay thing...

My view:

I personally am a true bi-sexual woman.  I say true bi-sexual because you have those people who do it to make their man happy... or they are what I like to call "drunk" bi's.  They would never actually have a real relationship with a woman that could lead into a forever.  I always felt weird and out of place in the world that i lived in...  when i finally let myself just roll with who i was... well it was amazing honestly... i never felt as good as when i just started taking off the mask and became who i truly am...  I am a Wiccan bi-sexual polyamorous woman.  And I am ok with that, and i am not ashamed ...  I believe that one day I will have a forever woman, who i will go through special times with and share a family with.
But in all honesty... i could careless if you are gay or not, i just want you happy... i want you to be ok with who you are...  when you see someone you care about, i want your eyes to light up and to just have that euphoria that happens when you see them.  You see so many people getting offended by the idea of love...
I don't believe in psychotic displays of affection in front of people... no matter what your sexual orientation is...  Believe me I dont want to look over and see a man and woman going crazy any more than i want to see two women or two men or how ever you have your life set.  I wouldn't do that, and i hope that people would be respectful enough to not do it either.   Now light hand holding, a hug, a kiss on the cheek or a little butt rub... and I think that is adorable and its nice to see that kind of love and affection out and about.
When it comes to my kids, we have conversations about how everyone is different and no two people are exactly the same... that you can love whom ever you want as long as you love that person fully in the way that you love them...   We talk about everything and i make sure they know that they can ask me anything they want... im not a sugar coater, i dont lie or make them feel like their questions are naughty or inappropriate ... i would rather them hear things from me than to have them learn things from their friends.  I encourage them to form their own opinions.  I am very lucky to have had parents that were the same way.  They never pushed their views on us.



As you see... i definitely have different thoughts and feelings than others... and most people who are bi or gay are not polyamorous..... and of course not everyone is Wiccan.  I am different... and honestly... I suffer from depression... but if i wasn't able to be who i am... it would probably be a lot worse than what it is.

I believe in loving people to the fullest...  and that is just who i am... maybe the next post will be explaining my polyamorous nature...  who knows... i just knew i had to get some of this off of my chest.


Alannah Mae

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Gosh this depression just doesn't want to quit!!

So just to let you all know... that $52 did buy me groceries for the 2 weeks, which will be up on 6/5/15!  I am super excited about that, i was able to make sure all of my bills were paid on time, and that is awesome....  And I did make the butter and buttermilk!! it turned out really good!!!


Now to get to what I am going to blog about;

I am Bipolar with a side of personality disorder... oooh... and just to spice things up... i have a very mild form of OCD....  oh but that doesn't top it... I am also type 1 diabetic with high blood pressure... which really stinks... but luckily I have an insulin pump that really helps me...

Now in saying that... I am notorious for stopping my medications because i "feel ok now" ... but guess what... this is just a form of subconscious punishment... Now I say subconscious because I dont think about it when i stop taking my meds... but I stop taking my meds at the times that I get really happy.  I have noticed that with in the past 7 months.  I was so hopelessly depressed about getting divorced... about being alone... that when i finally got even a little bit of happiness that came my way, i honestly stopped taking my meds, and took off my pump...  why?????   well... because i got happy...  But I am tired of that!!! I cant do that to myself or my children... I need to remember that it is ok for me to be happy... and the meds are the reason that i am not depressed 24/7 !!!  Why can't I just remember that....  So I am going to start getting on the right path again...  wish me the best!
 So I do want to put out there that I have a very odd life compared to some people... i dont think it odd... but others would lol...  I just wanted to say that because I dont have relationships like others do...  it always include multiple relationships and emotions... but I did find myself a boyfriend...  recently... but I think that I am starting to freak out... because I find myself becoming paranoid that he doesnt want me... or that its just a fake relationship...  I find myself wondering why in the heck he hasnt texted me... or called me...   but yet he says he cares for me...  I dont understand... is that to much to want someone to say good morning and good night to??   that is all I ask... simple I would think not... but for some reason it is so hard for others...    I will never understand it... then i do have someone else who is very interested in me... wants to date me... but the same thing with him, plus when it comes to him I dont see him much, and he gets upset by that... and I dont think it would be good for me to be in a relationship with someone whom doesnt understand that there are reasons why i cant go pick him up any time day or night that he wants...  He has no car... I cant grab my kids at midnight and go get him when i get out of work... that just isnt good

I really think that it would be good for me to be in the first relationship as long as things start going my way some more on the communication front... it might be a little bit before i stop being paranoid... but im going to try to work through it...

Do you have any suggestions??  I did talk to him about texting me more... but when i bring it up... i feel like an idiot... i dont want him to think im to clingy... but yet, i feel like i need to be at this point and time... I dont know... just give me what you think will help! lol


Alannah

Friday, May 22, 2015

$52 for two weeks of groceries?? What??

So I decided today as I was paying bills... that I was not going to have enough money to do my crazy grocery shopping... ok...  Its not crazy...  my limit is usually $150... but I honestly usually use under $100...  I am big on Meijer MPerks!!!  Or my Kroger card... Or Dollar Tree (depending on what I am getting of course)  To get back to the point...

I have decided to limit myself to $52 ...

 I know you all are saying "WWWHHHAAAAA!!!!!!"
But i will tell you, that I have meat in the freezer... and also bread...  KROGER was having their $10 for 10 deal and I scooped that up pretty fast quick in a hurry...

So here is a list of everything I have!

Veggies:
Corn (1 can)
peas (2 can plus 1 bag)
black beans (2 can)
kidney beans (1 can)
garbanzo beans (1 can)
mixed veggies (1 can)
Broccoli (1 bag)
peppers (2 bags)
green beans (1 bag)
Carrots (1 can)
Veggie broth (1 can)
Potatoes
onions

Fruits:
Spaghetti Sauce (3 cans)
tomato sauce (1 can)
tomato soup (1 can)
pumpkin (1 can)
Blue berries (bag)
strawberries (bag)

Noodles:
rigatoni noodles
lasagna noodles
Cavatappi Noodles

Rice:
Brown
White
Rice side dishes (3)

Meat:
Turkey Burger (3)
Venison Burger (1)
Beef Burger (1)
Hot dogs (1)
Venison Chops (3 packages)
Chicken (6 boneless skinless 1/2 breast)
Chicken broth (2 can)
beef broth (1 can)
chicken gravy (2 cans)

Other stuff:
Relish
Mayo
orange jelly
pancake mix
oats
honey
bread crumbs
break (10 loaves)
hashbrowns (2 bags)
ketch up
bbq sauce



So this is everything that I have in the fridge and freezer right now...   I know that it is a lot... and for some reason i can never think of anything to cook!! well since i have it all on paper it will be different for these next two weeks...

So here is my grocery list..

Milk
Eggs
Cheddar
Lunch Meat
Cereal
Tortillas
Heavy Cream

I have decided to make my own butter and butter milk... as well as Taco Seasoning !!!   Heck... I have the stuff to go all out and make Tortillas if i really want to... who knows... maybe i will ... I have two kitchen helps that would probably love to be a part of all the makin!!!



I hope you all have a fantastic time!!

Alannah Mae

Thursday, May 21, 2015

LETS KICK THIS OFF!!!

Aiden (nephew), Zhander (son), Blayre (daughter, way in the back), Rhiley (nephew), and Me
I wanted to start this blog off with a picture of four people who make my world a brighter place...  And now I want to explain to you... who I am and what this blog is going to be for...

Hello... my name is Alannah, I am 29 (30 on November 1st!! WOOHOO!!) and I have:
 two children

 two dogs
Misa (the chihuahua), Severus (the Pomeranian)

 soon to be 3
Kiba (the Mini Weenie)
I have had a crazy last 7 months...  so let me start off with what happened and why I have decided to start this little blog....

7 months ago my husband let me know that he wanted a divorce... wow right... throwing the big guns out there... the crazy thing is... i thought everything was going perfect!  I always said... "I have the perfect husband, the perfect job!  Perfect kids!  now all I need is the house!"  But obviously he didn't think that way...  which of course makes me super sad considering I was in love with him...  
But I am odd I guess... because all I did was say "Ok, I will find a place."  I didn't argue with him... How can I argue with someone who says he doesn't love me, I cant convince him otherwise.  My thing is "I love you, I want you happy, and that is all that matters"  So if that means not being with me... well then that is ok...
He is still my best friend, we spend a lot of time together and with the kids.  Even with his girlfriend who is amazing.
So, after that I went and got my own place by the end of the week... a three bedroom trailer with two baths and a lot of extras... which is amazingly awesome

Alright, so even though i had a new place and stuff like that... things off course felt like it was falling apart on me...  not only did my glasses end up breaking... in half... so i had to get new ones, my phone fell out of my hands and smashed... so i had to get a new one of those... then the program i was working on was being discontinued... so i either had to find a new program... or find a new job....  Everything was going crazy.  On top of that, every time i turned around there was someone asking me out... I know i shouldn't be upset by that, but i had just split from a husband that I loved with all my heart and I just was not ready for something like that!!!

Luckily here at the 7 month mark things are going well for me... I was picked up by another program..  I do have new glasses and new phone and also I even was able to take my kids to Nashville, TN to visit with their Aunt Cassie!!!  It was their first time out of Michigan!!

 
     

It was pretty fantastic, I got a picture in the three states they they visited for the first time.  On the way back we went around some back roads and around the mountains... It was amazing!!  And the kids loved it!!!


So that is just a little bit of what is going on with me...  Now with this blog I want to use it to show all of my awesome crafts... and to vent.. and I'm going to try to use this blog as my friend.. somethings I might not open up to the public... but others..  If I post it so the public can see it that means I would like your input!!  Well, its time for me to get back to my training for the new program!  I cant say what it is! But just know that it is amazing!!!!!


Lots of Love,

Alannah Mae